Friends Pressuring Me to Go To Church

[Bik Nokiyer]

There are three people at my work who are Christians. I am not religious. I am very ignorant of religion. I just haven't studied it much. Many Christians I see seem very happy, but I don't know too much about Christianity. It seems very complex.

I am a church virgin in that I have never been to church before. My friends are pressuring me to go to a church sermon for the first time. They seem to be using Pascal's Wager and saying that I have nothing to use. They say that they will bring me along and if I experience in my heart connection with Jesus Christ then I will get a lot out of that, but even if I don't feel any connection with Jesus Christ then it's no loss.

Because I am a church virgin then I feel uncomfortable about going to church. I also don't see how sitting in a room and listening to someone talk about the Bible will benefit me, but my friends say that the benefit of my going to church cannot be explained. Rather, it is something that you feel when you experience it. I have to go there and try it out. Then they went on about how I have so much to gain from connection to Christ, salvation, going to heaven, etc, and they said there is no loss. All I have to do is walk into a building and listen to someone talk. I already do that when I go to work and go to meetings, so if I can go to work and go to meetings then I can go to a sermon.

I caved in and said that so long as I just sit there and listen then I will go. I don't want to have to do anything extra like participate in rituals or anything else. They were happy and told me they may ring me up soon to bring me along.

I am a little nervous. Anyone here have any tips and pointers on what I should do? Should I just go to church and just sit there and listen? Is the argument they used logical? Do they make good points? Are they correct?

[McQ]

Welcome to the forum.

If these folks are pressuring you to go to church, then know in advance that they believe you are a sinner in the eyes of god and that they are doing nothing less than trying to save your eternal soul. And if they are the more conservative, fundamentalist types, like southern baptists, they will pester you until they talk you into being saved. That means acknowledging your sin, repenting of it, and asking jesus christ to come into your heart as lord and savior (otherwise, they'll tell you that you're doomed to eternal damnation in hell).

They will be well-meaning, but persistent. There is also a chance that if you go, and then decide not to join their church, or become a born-again christian, they will eventually snub you. At first, they will keep trying to save you, and they will pray for you and let you know it. They will get their friends and fellow church members to do the same. They will introduce you to everyone, and try to get them to get to know you, all the time looking for a way to get into your head and get you into their church.

You should be prepared for a long haul. Christianity is many different things to different denominations. But all of them share the common belief that jesus is your salvation and you need him in your life. Many groups use the following to get people to recognize sin and to ask for salvation. It's called "The Roman Road".

I used it countless times as a christian. It was used on me when I was young. It is persuasive. There's much more to it, but this is the starting point for them with you. Be prepared.

http://theromanroad.org/

If they are not protestant, you will probably see a different tactic. roman catholics tell everyone that their church is the only way to heaven because they say that Peter was designated as the first pope by jesus himself. Much more complicated and you can't learn it all in a week or a month, but you should start learning.

Stick around here and ask questions. Lots of people here who can help answer them.

To answer your last queries, I think you have a lot to lose by going, and yes, they are wrong. All that bullshit about just going there and sitting, is really, in essence, a trap. No less. They will make sure you have a very profound experience if they can do it. They will play on your emotions and talk to you about things you are ignorant about (or as you put it, a virgin). They will use your lack of knowledge against you with their warped logic and play to your feelings. If this all sound rather cultish, it is. What I found ironic as a member of a baptist church was how much they railed against cults, when they were just a huge cult themselves.

Good luck!

[Mark L Holland]

I would suggest telling your friends that you feel moved to go to a black Baptist church.  Chances are it will shock them into silence and it will be a far more entertaining time then you would have going to an evangelical or fundamentalist church.  I was the only white boy in a five mile area when I went to a major black church in east LA to listen to a friend who was doing a choir concert there, and had the time of my life.

  And I am built from the ground up physically as a Georgia Red Neck.  But it all depends on what you want.  If these are Co Workers and you wish to maintain a good work relationship, then it could not hurt as they said, but the fact is that they will not stop hounding you until you say (praise the Lord).  I might suggest that you offer them a counter proposal.  Tell them that you will go to a black Baptist church if they accompany you.  I would bet that if that is their option they will decline.

  Trust me the music and choirs songs you will hear at a black Baptist church is many times better quality then you will hear at their church.
 

[Ellainix]

From the individual's perspective, they believe that when you initiate telepathic communication with Jesus and accept his offer of salvation, you will be going to heaven when you die. While this initially sounds great, heaven consists of worshiping God for eternity. Thus, what you experience in church, heaven will be slightly better and never end.

Why couldn't you go to heaven before? Apparently the first two people, thousands of years ago, ate a magic fruit that they were told not to eat. This was called the first sin, and now everyone does bad things because of that. God randomly decided that the majority of his human "creations" would not go to heaven unless they fought hard against their very own nature by birth. Statistically speaking, you were born to fail this challenge. Alternatively, this God has incomprehensible amounts of love, grace, and mercy. If he really loved or cared about any of the seven billion humans alive right now, then why is more than 90% of everyone going to hell? How can he love and create hell? How is there mercy or grace in the creation of hell?

The Christian Lifestyle. Get ready to change your whole life. Being a good Christian involves reading and studying the Bible often, much time spent seeking telepathic communication with a distant being, going to church Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings, volunteering and attending extracurricular activities, 10% of your money to help show your faith in God, donation of available personal skills (like running a sound system, lawn care, nursery), and most important, the spread of the religion. You'll probably think a lot about how if this ends up being fake, then you've made a huge temporal and financial blunder.

It's just another psychological virus.

[SSY]

How do you think they would have reacted had you asked them to a service at a local mosque? Well? Open mindedly? Consider this when you evaluate their intellectual honesty as it pertains to the question of religion.

This smacks to me of nothing more than people trying to coerce you into joining their cult, in order to ingratiate themselves with the church leaders, or to sure up the foundations of their own delusion. I would not go, I would not continue to associate with such people, one "No" is all it should take, if they continue to bother you, I would first have a frank chat with them, and then if necessary, invoke whatever privacy or discrimination laws your workplace has in place.

The other main reason I would stay away, is my own personal nightmare situation of being somehow "called out" by the priest, in front of the congregation, and be faced with choice of mock capitulating so as to avoid an even larger scene, or denounce whatever mumbo jumbo was sure to be issuing from the pulpit.

[pckizer]

The other main reason I would stay away, is my own personal nightmare situation of being somehow "called out" by the priest, in front of the congregation, and be faced with choice of mock capitulating so as to avoid an even larger scene, or denounce whatever mumbo jumbo was sure to be issuing from the pulpit.

As long as the person in the forum here is consistent, I don't see a problem with that; I spent 18 years in a southern baptist church since I was not really given a choice by my family and never "heeded the call" nor "walked the aisle".  Sometimes silence works wonders when nothing else does if pressured.

[OldGit]

My advice: don't go!  As has been said, they mean it to be the start of a long process.  Maybe refusal will cause a bit of ill feeling at work, but if you go along with them you could be in for bigger problems later.

[kenh]

Watch out for any offers of baptism...  

[Whitney]

I am a little nervous. Anyone here have any tips and pointers on what I should do? Should I just go to church and just sit there and listen? Is the argument they used logical? Do they make good points? Are they correct?

With the way they are pressuring you they are probably Southern Baptist or some other fundamentalist religion and many of those churches tend to have programs which single out newcomers and attempt to convert them that day (meaning you might get peer pressured into having a discussion about Jesus and why you aren't convinced).  I would not suggest attending any fundamentalist church with your co-workers....it can't be good for the office atmosphere if you have to walk out of the service in shock or disgust.

I would tell your friends that you are going to watch a church sermon on tv in the comfort of your own home where you are safe from pressure.  After all, jesus said something to the extent of, wherever two or more gather in his name he is there...what that means is that church is the people not the building so your friends are wrong about your needing to go to church for Jesus' (bs) magic to work.

As for the Pascal's wager stuff....the way they are wording it isn't quite the wager.  Ya, it doesn't hurt you to try out church (give you a look into what it is they do there anyway)  and you have little to lose by attending church one day (other than extra sleep and that part of your life back).  Pascal's wager is a fallacy because it basically asks people to lie to god about their belief just in case god is real and non-belief is a sin....the problem with that is that god would know it was a lie and that it isn't a choice between belief or non-belief as there are thousands of different religions and most think you must choose the extact correct religion to go to receive salvation.

[curiosityandthecat]

Bik, you have to remember that these people are likely doing what they feel is their charge, their duty. Many Christians believe they must (and I mean must) convert others and bring people to God. This is what is scientifically known as douchebaggery. Feel free to go to church, but print this out and take a look at it every once in a while, as it may start to sound familiar:

[G-Roll]

do you believe in god? do you want to worship god?
if you answered yes to both of these questions then go. if not dont go.

if you are curious and just want to check it out, go check it out. maybe you will find jesus and dance in a trance, handle a rattle snake, roll on the floor, talk in tongues, or many other fun group activities. you only live once you know.
oh, and dont be afraid to tell your coworkers to shut the fuck up. its your right whether you believe or not. nothing anyone says in any forum, workplace, or church should be your deciding factor. input is always nice but if you cant make up your own mind....

[LoneMateria]

do you believe in god? do you want to worship god?
if you answered yes to both of these questions then go. if not dont go.

if you are curious and just want to check it out, go check it out. maybe you will find jesus and dance in a trance, handle a rattle snake, roll on the floor, talk in tongues, or many other fun group activities. you only live once you know.
oh, and dont be afraid to tell your coworkers to shut the fuck up. its your right whether you believe or not. nothing anyone says in any forum, workplace, or church should be your deciding factor. input is always nice but if you cant make up your own mind....

I second this.

[John_Silver]

If these folks are pressuring you to go to church, then know in advance that they believe you are a sinner in the eyes of god and that they are doing nothing less than trying to save your eternal soul.

Many Christians believe that even they are still sinners (in my case, especially me). It typically isn't us versus them in a truly Scriptural church. And these same Christians understand they cannot save anyone. I am a Messianic Reformist ( a bit of a rare breed it seems). We believe that Salvation is Yeshua's work and there isn't a damn thing we can do to convert someone. We believe that Yeshua creates true Talmidim (disciples or students) through regeneration of that person's heart apart from the "work" of Believers. we only offer relationships and encouragement to fellow Talmidim in order to study and grow together. You are right however, about most evangelical congregations. They haven't yet figured out that God doesn't use a point or demerit system for Christians who convert (or fail to convert) non-Beleivers.

Just wanted to clear that up.

John

[McQ]

If these folks are pressuring you to go to church, then know in advance that they believe you are a sinner in the eyes of god and that they are doing nothing less than trying to save your eternal soul.

Many Christians believe that even they are still sinners (in my case, especially me). It typically isn't us versus them in a truly Scriptural church. And these same Christians understand they cannot save anyone. I am a Messianic Reformist ( a bit of a rare breed it seems). We believe that Salvation is Yeshua's work and there isn't a damn thing we can do to convert someone. We believe that Yeshua creates true Talmidim (disciples or students) through regeneration of that person's heart apart from the "work" of Believers. we only offer relationships and encouragement to fellow Talmidim in order to study and grow together. You are right however, about most evangelical congregations. They haven't yet figured out that God doesn't use a point or demerit system for Christians who convert (or fail to convert) non-Beleivers.

Just wanted to clear that up.

John

John, what you say is true, I'm sure, of your church and faith. I was speaking from personal experience as a former southern baptist, and evangelical perspective. We did exactly what I wrote, and believed it strongly. Yes, we were ALL sinners, but WE were "saved" by jesus. It was a full-on campaign to win the hearts and souls of non-believers. Many considered it a holy war in fact. It is sad to think that I was part of that mindset.

[Mark L Holland]

To McQ

  Luckily you did break out from the mindset, and your right while john maybe one of the few Christians who are actually Jesus followers the majority of Christians believe in the great Commandment to go forth in Jesus’ name and convert the heathens.  There are a few of the Christian cults that I have some respect for, Quakers and their likes and even Mormans to some extent are more Jesus followers then Christians.  But the majority of Christians are not followers of Jesus.